How to Survive Family Vacation as an Adult

Family pic in Aruba

Beachin' with my bro in Martha's Vineyard

Every year at Christmas, my stepdad asked the same question: 

"Ok family, so where are we going for vacation this year?"

My brother and I usually shrug and leave it up to them and they pick an awesome place. That's the easy part. The hard part is figuring out how to do vacation (well) with your family as an adult. Who pays? Who picks? Can I share a room with my boo? We haven't gotten it completely right, but I'll let you in on the evolution of my family's vacation do's and don'ts. 

Our first big family getaway was to St. Lucia in 2009. It was an all-expenses paid trip and it was INCREDIBLE. We stayed at a gorgeous villa, went deep sea fishing and rode horses on the beach. Romantic right? Lol! We also drank lots of delicious St. Lucian rum and ran up quite the tab at every meal. This is probably what made my parents go back to the drawing board about our role in this vacation situation.

How do you get your adult kids to choose family vacation over their trips with friends and significant others AND cough up some cash?

It's pretty tough.

After a similar vacation in Aruba, my parents decided that my brother and I would each pay for a meal for the family. Not too bad for soaking up sun and drinking some sex on the beaches! (I was younger and my stomach could handle those back then). I'll be honest that my brother and I both tried to find the most affordable options, but we didn't complain about the new requirement.

The next year was the straw that broke the camel's back. My parents were over their mooching kids. They chose St. Barth's and my parents told us to pay for our own plane tickets and a meal and our drinks. Dayum! That year, I debated on whether or not I would attend. It wasn't because I didn't love my fam. I was also taking an international trip with friends that year and I hadn't accounted for the new family policy changes. I eventually went and had an amazing time. The house we rented was like something out of a music video and we had a lot of fun together. However, after a long discussion, we realized that our time together was more important than a glamorous vacay. To make things work, here are the steps we now take as a family to keep the peace:

1. Decide on a place that is affordable for everyone to fly to.

2. Set expectations in advance of what we are paying for and what the 'rents will cover.

3. All adults pay for a meal for everyone at least once.

4. Adults pay for their own drinks at restaurants.

5. I promise each year to try my best not to roll my eyes when my mom wants to take the perfect family photo in the hot a$$ sun.

Since we've started our family adventures we've also been to Martha's Vineyard and Naples (Florida, not Italy). What I've learned is that it was never about money to my parents. They just wanted us to take some responsibility and that's completely fair. They actually end up not even enforcing some of these rules. Plus, my mom stocks the house with drinks we like and our favorite food. Although I would love to go on another trip to an exclusive island and gallop on horseback along the ocean, I am looking forward to our low-key, affordable lake cabin trip this year. Jet skis are way cooler on lakes anyway :-)

The horse I spoke of. Poor thing!

Action shot at our pool in St. Barth's

The Purposeful Layover: 22 Hours in Istanbul

One of my favorite travel memories is my 22 hour stint in Istanbul. I will admit that I entered the experience as green and naive as one could be. It was my first time to a traditional, Muslim country and I promise you that I treated it like a road trip to South Florida. 

I found a New Years’ Eve flight for a great price on Kayak through Turkish Airlines to Paris and Amsterdam. There were layovers in Istanbul ranging from 3 to 22 hours. I decided to book my return trip with the 22 hour layover so that I could explore a bit. I didn't realize at the time that this trip would change my life.

I spoke to a coworker about his recent visit to Turkey and I didn't take his vagabond ways into account when he told me, "Just go to the Galata Bridge and everything will be right there." When I arrived to Istanbul, my floral backpack and I headed to the taxi area.  After some sign language and pointing due to the language barrier, the taxi driver headed to the Galata Bridge. This was my first time ever traveling alone in another country so I was giddy. I became a 5 year old with my face pressed against the window, looking at all of the gorgeous architecture as we headed to the bridge. The driver pulled up and I gave him what he asked for. I think I was supposed to haggle. Oh well! I was pumped, remember?

I walked around a bit and a few men were standing by the water offering boat rides on a cheesy looking yacht. I spoke with them for a bit, still using some fun hand signals, and then boarded the boat. I want to note that I stood out like a sore thumb in Turkey. I didn't see one black person the entire time I was there. Although this has been uncomfortable at times in other places, people stared in awe and admiration and treated me like a celebrity. I.Was.Fine.With.It. So in true celebrity fashion, I was invited to the captain's area to steer the boat and drink mint tea with the crew. (Note: I wouldn’t necessarily advise this to everyone. Be sure to always use your intuition and stay safe. Also, I steered for like 5 minutes so don't think I was doing anything to fancy.) I steered towards the Asian side of Istanbul as they told me about their beloved country. I learned about the gorgeous temples, cost of living, the economy...pretty much everything one could be told in an hour. When we returned to the bridge, we exchanged Facebook info and they pointed me in the direction of the hammam I'd read about called Cemberlitas. I started to walk because it seemed close. When I looked around, I realized there were a lot more men than woman as it was getting darker. I walked up a narrow street and a man was standing outside of a restaurant. He stopped me and asked me a few questions and proceeded to tell me that he was originally from Turkey, but had moved to New York when he was a child. He now owned a restaurant in Istanbul. He advised me to take a taxi because it was not safe to walk so far at night by myself. Point taken. I hopped in the next one I saw.

I was getting hungry so the taxi driver dropped me to an area close to the hammam that had lots of restaurants and shops. After making a detour to buy an obligatory Hookah, I wandered over to a gorgeous, well-lit alley with tons of restaurants. As I settled into my seat in the outdoor area, I noticed people staring again. I welcomed it as long as they didn't touch my hair. The staff was very friendly and my waiter offered to show me a few sites after I finished eating. We ventured around and took lots of pics as he told me about his experience growing up in Istanbul. He was incredibly nice and not pushy at all. A perfect companion for my mini-tour. He escorted me to the hammam and we parted ways and exchanged Facebook names. This happened a lot.

Holy Hammam! I hadn't done my research about this either. I walked in and paid my money and all of a sudden I was led to a room and they told me to strip down to everything except for the bikini bottoms they provided. I was in an adventurous mood, so it was all good. After I locked up my belongings, the ladies led me to a huge room with stone everywhere and half naked women bustling around. They told me to lay down on a towel that was placed on a platform. Hard to picture, I know. See the link below for details. Then they scrubbed me down and ohhhhh man it was amazing. It was like a massage/body scrub combo and so cheap. I also took advantage of the steam rooms to the pools and left feeling amazing. It was around 9pm and I still had time to kill so I headed back to the restaurant alley area.

The rest of the night consisted of a Hookah bar where the owner proposed to me on the spot, meeting cool people from Turkey and all over the world, and my spending last hours with the airport officials as they made me Turkish coffee and we chatted via Google translator. I want to note that I did encounter quite a few men who were hard to shake off. Like, really hard to shake off. I was kind, but firm with them. I will also note that a black American woman was seen as exotic to them, so another person could go and have a completely different experience. I left Turkey feeling brave, open-minded, curious and strong. It also opened my eyes to seeking out destinations other than the popular, westernized places.

So the next time you have a layover, make it an experience. XO!

Places Mentioned in Post:

Cemberlita Hammam-http://www.cemberlitashamami.com/

Restaurant Alley- http://www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g293974-d3337059-r151823798-Divane_Restaurant_Cafe-Istanbul.html

Galata Bridge- http://www.tripadvisor.com/Attraction_Review-g293974-d296540-Reviews-Galata_Bridge-Istanbul.html

Steering and looking cheesy on the boat :-D

The Turkish coffee my new friends made for me!

How I Travel Abroad at Least Once a Year…On a Budget ;-)

So I’m back from my #Almost30 #Solotrip (those were my hashtags on the Gram :-)). I’m contemplating where to go next so I thought I’d walk you through how I prepare for my annual trip.

Step 1: From Ground Zero, there’s nowhere to go but up. I’ve got bills to pay and I live in the most expensive city EVER so it’s time to get my bearings before I start searching on Kayak. At this point I start thinking about who I may want to invite (if anyone!)

Step 2: After I know that I am in the clear, I start putting a reasonable amount into a separate, middle account each pay period. If you can afford it, $200-$400 per month is ideal. This will cover your airline ticket, food and activities.

Step 3: After I save about $800, I start looking for flights. I have found the cheapest flights from February to Early April and Mid-September to Early November to most places. I put all kinds of places into Kayak.com with flexible dates and wait to see what happens.

Step 4: Book your ticket. Give yourself 4 additional months to keep saving the amount you initially designated. The purchased ticket will keep you on the Saving Train to be sure that you can afford to have a good time. Amp up the amount if you can!

Step 5: Book your hotel/hostel/couch. I really like Booking.com because you can cancel most places without a fee, BUT make sure you cross-reference with other sites like Tripadvisor for additional reviews. Check out the actual traveler photos.

Step 6: Book excursions and activities. Tripadvisor is CLUTCH for this.

Step 7: Get on that plane and have the best time ever!

Granada Spain, 2013